In the last blog I wrote about my niece, Isobel, taking her first steps into independence. Even since I wrote that I can see new and different tactics that she’s employing. She now pushes away everything that gets in her way, to get to where she wants to be and reach out for what she wants. She may as well have a flashing sign saying “MAKE WAY!! COMING THROUGH!! I’M HERE!!!
She has a look of utter determination in her eyes and she certainly isn’t waiting on ceremony as she sees her target and goes for it. But what will people think about me? Of course that would never cross the mind of one so
It strikes me that perhaps I could learn a thing or two from my 11 month old niece.
You see, I am also taking my first steps into independence. But that decision did not come easily.
As we grow up many of us set our own limitations and boundaries, ably assisted by that little voice in our head or the little imp that sits on our shoulder. It’s filled with so much advice and is not shy about sharing it either. “You can’t do that!” “What if it all goes wrong?” “What will people think of you?” It can tie us up in knots until any kind of logic crumbles away, even for the most logical amongst us!
Looking at the day job, there were few plus points. I’d never get any more hours than I had. I couldn’t earn any more money than I already was. I couldn’t rise to a higher position, I was already there. I couldn’t even learn anything new. In fact, not only were my skills being underused, they were actually being undermined at every turn.
My friend, Paul, a life coach, offered me a frog analogy. Apparently frogs can be placed in water and sit there while the heat is turned on underneath them. As the heat is turned up, the frog thinks ‘Hmm, it’s getting warmer. But I can take it.’ No matter how hot the water gets, the frog stays exactly where it is, still thinking, ‘I can still take it’…until it’s finally boiled alive.
I didn’t say it was a nice analogy. But I definitely got the gist of the story and could see that I was that frog. No matter how bad the job made me feel, I’d think, ‘Hey, I can stay a while longer’ and would move the deadline further and further away into the future. Knowing full well that it was doing me no favours for my health or my career.
Well, I’m escaping before I’m boiled alive!